Lent course 2021 – After a year of Covid we lament

Introduction

In Advent we looked at a series of scenes based on the theme ‘The gift of a Child’. At Candlemas we gave thanks for the gift of the child Jesus as a light to the nations. Now we turn from the crib to the Cross.

During the past year many have suffered bereavement so now, during Lent, I offer a series of reflections considering loss. Whatever the age, the person remains a child to the parents.

Session 6 – Thursday 25 March (Annunciation) – Wednesday 1 April (Holy Week)

I will pour out a spirit of compassion and supplication on the house of David
and the inhabitants of Jerusalem,
so that, when they look on the one whom they have pierced,
they shall mourn for him, as one mourns for an only child,
and weep bitterly over him, as one weeps over a firstborn.
Zechariah 12.10

The death of Jesus
Matthew 26. 14 – 27.66; Mark 14. 1 – 15. 47; Luke 22. 14 – 23. 56

We are all familiar with the events of the betrayal, trial, torture and death of Jesus. The Passion story is read on Palm Sunday each year. All of the previous five studies of death, loss and lamentation can contribute to an approach to the bereavement experienced by Mary and the disciples and to our understanding of loss and mourning in the current circumstances.

One year on from the beginning of the Covid-19 pandemic many have seen their family torn
apart. Hopes invested by parents in a child or children have been shattered, as it was for Adam and Eve. This is so for Mary but God continues to watch over and care for her. The disciple, John, takes on the role of son, showing great empathy with Mary. They are both bereaved but they find the strength to walk alongside each other. Like Naomi and Ruth they form a loving bond through their mutual sorrow and are enabled to express their pain as they slowly travel on through the grieving process.

By evening on that Friday, the disciples have to make sure the body is safe in haste. Because of the Sabbath, ritual, symbol, action and words are postponed. For us too there have been restrictions: on funeral rites, travel and gatherings of the community to share acts of compassion. These have been limited and we wait to continue the journey. Many, like David, are required to resume their responsibilities and have been unable, in our present context, to take time to go through the  ceremonies and group activities of support and of mourning.
Formalities have been minimised, rituals suspended and observances postponed. This has left many feeling disconnected with the death, aware that there is unfinished business but unable to pursue the course of grieving satisfactorily. As yet we cannot rise early like the disciples and attend to the rituals of death and the rites concerning the physical body. Nevertheless new avenues have opened up giving fresh and creative opportunities to lament and articulate grief.

Along with the disciples we ask Job’s question: why is Jesus afflicted when he is a good person? He is not guilty. Jesus’ friends try to find an answer but they cannot cope with the situation. They think back to their failings, things they did not understand, challenges to which they failed to rise, behaviour regretted. There was guilt for not acknowledging Jesus and for running away when the situation became dangerous and anger at what had happened. Despair, numbness and withdrawal into their own small unit ensued. Each person has his or her own doubts and questions and these influence the experience of grief. We still cannot understand why good people die. But we know that faithful believers can suffer in the same way as anyone else: there is no immunity. Like Job we can demand an answer from God but, since we cannot see God’s purposes with God’s eyes, we also cannot align our understanding or re-orientate our thoughts. God’s plan is incomprehensible to humanity and the question remains unanswered.

There was much injustice shown to the Maccabean family and to Jesus and his disciples. Similarly many families now feel that they have been unfairly treated through the Covid pandemic. There has not always been the choice of how the death may be approached. A calm atmosphere, perhaps in a hospice or with palliative care at home, has not necessarily been possible. Quiet face to face engagement with those organising a funeral, the funeral director and celebrant, has often been unworkable. However there have been different opportunities to experience consolation through the empathetic love shown by many through their phone calls, the use of technology and assistance with essential tasks. The weight of sadness is lifted as it is shared. People have given time and energy unselfishly to those in pain.

Putting herself, as a mother, to the back of her mind, Mary stands strong and resolute. All through the passion and death of her son, Mary does not intervene. She gives up her son to torture and death because this is what is necessary: she was warned by Simeon (Luke 2. 34 – 35). Supported by John she can take time to lament with him and the other disciples.

The earthly leaders that put Jesus to death have to watch as Jesus dies an innocent man and then is raised from the dead. The promise of life after death for believers, won through his atoning and redemptive death in self-sacrificial love, is our hope. Attempts to stop Jesus and the mission of God do not work. In Holy Week we join with Mary at the Cross. We bring all our failings, disappointments, bitterness, regrets, questions and suffering and place them at the foot of the Cross in sure and certain hope of the resurrection of the dead and the life of the world to come.

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.         Mat 5. 9

*The painting above is The Pieta by Bellini

Prayer

We praise and adore you, God, our Father.
You are the maker of all things and you sustain your creation with love.

At the cross her station keeping,
Stood the mournful Mother weeping,
Close to Jesus to the last.

Through her heart, His sorrow sharing,
All His bitter anguish bearing,
Now at length the sword had passed.

Is there one who would not weep,
Whelmed in miseries so deep,
Christ’s dear Mother to behold?

O thou Mother: fount of love!
Touch my spirit from above,
Make my heart with thine accord.

By the Cross with thee to stay;
There with thee to weep and pray,
Is all I ask of thee to give.

Christ, when Thou shalt call me hence,
Be Thy Mother my defence,
Be Thy Cross my victory.

While my body here decays,
May my soul Thy goodness praise,
Safe in Paradise with Thee. Amen.

*verses from Stabat Mater as translated